John & Nick

Because comedy needs more white men.

L.O.L. Bean, Christmas 2015


It doesn’t quite feel like Christmas until we’ve had a chance to browse the L.O.L. Bean Christmas catalog! Yay!


Sunset_2007-1Apparently, you can fly too close to the sun. Our angel investor’s check bounced.

As it turns out, Johnny Omelette is not a real person. He’s a creation of our old buddy Fat Dom. We typically love Dominic’s skewed sense of humor, but this definitely stepped over the line.

What does this mean for “The Breakfast Menu”? We’re putting it into permanent hibernation. Sure, we could ditch the social network component and debut a fetching piece of comedy that would grab the attention of the world’s Judd Apatows and Dane Cooks. But that wouldn’t be fair to the folks out there who view our posts as promises. We’re not going to deliver a crippled experience. We simply won’t deliver any experience at all.

That way, no one gets hurt.

Thanks for everyone’s love, support and attention these past few months. It’s been one wild ride.

Finally, if anyone would like to buy the domain, please contact us with an offer.

You got chocolate in our peanut butter,
John & Nick

PREVIOUSLY: We’re Back, Baby!

Calendars of the World


We’re Back, Baby!


Glory be to the father! “The Breakfast Menu” has risen from the dead.

That’s right, folks. An angel investor has swooped down from the heavens and carried us back toward the sun. “The Breakfast Menu” is back on track.

More soon.

Seconds please,
John & Nick


Rest In Peace

main-qimg-93acc79f44dba4b7c18b8a64febbc7feWe regret to inform you that “The Breakfast Menu” is dead.

We didn’t want to make this announcement. Unfortunately, our hand has been forced. We were unable to secure any investments in the project. Devin Chopin has tainted it. No one can see the vision.

We’d like to thank all of our readers for their support. We’re sorry we couldn’t deliver on the hybrid comedy piece/social network that the 21st century desperately needs.

Check please,
John & Nick


A Birthday Worth Every Penny


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