John & Nick

Because comedy needs more white men.


3_lawyer“The Breakfast Menu: The Forgotten Plates” has been shelved, effective immediately.

We can’t go into too much detail, but suffice to say that we sold much more than we bargained for when unloading domain.

If you’re interested in finding out what “The Breakfast Menu” is all about, we’re afraid we’re no longer legally allowed to speak about the project. You’ll have to direct all inquiries to Thomas & Phranklin, the legal representatives of Romer Food Corp.

Thanks to everyone for their interest in the project.

All full,
John & Nick


It Is Risen

jesus_resurrected_tombHere are three words you haven’t seen in a while: “The Breakfast Menu.”

We know what you’re thinking: isn’t that project dead? Well, yes. It is. And we would never go back on a declaration like that. What’s done is done.

BUT, we’re happy to announce “The Breakfast Menu: The Forgotten Plates,” set to release in Q3 this year. “The Breakfast Menu: The Forgotten Plates” is a collection of all of the behind-the-scenes work that went into the world’s greatest undiscovered comedy project.

You want access to our personal e-mails? You got it. Recordings of our phone calls with our design studio and investor? All yours. Do you want to see the very checks we received? Done and done.

All of that and more will be available for purchase. While our research and development team says we can sell this set for $99.99, we’re prepared to offer it for a mere $74.99.

Pre-order information will be available soon. Watch this space!

More pie please,
John & Nick

PREVIOUSLY: Sunsetting

L.O.L. Bean, Christmas 2015


It doesn’t quite feel like Christmas until we’ve had a chance to browse the L.O.L. Bean Christmas catalog! Yay!


Sunset_2007-1Apparently, you can fly too close to the sun. Our angel investor’s check bounced.

As it turns out, Johnny Omelette is not a real person. He’s a creation of our old buddy Fat Dom. We typically love Dominic’s skewed sense of humor, but this definitely stepped over the line.

What does this mean for “The Breakfast Menu”? We’re putting it into permanent hibernation. Sure, we could ditch the social network component and debut a fetching piece of comedy that would grab the attention of the world’s Judd Apatows and Dane Cooks. But that wouldn’t be fair to the folks out there who view our posts as promises. We’re not going to deliver a crippled experience. We simply won’t deliver any experience at all.

That way, no one gets hurt.

Thanks for everyone’s love, support and attention these past few months. It’s been one wild ride.

Finally, if anyone would like to buy the domain, please contact us with an offer.

You got chocolate in our peanut butter,
John & Nick

PREVIOUSLY: We’re Back, Baby!

Calendars of the World


We’re Back, Baby!


Glory be to the father! “The Breakfast Menu” has risen from the dead.

That’s right, folks. An angel investor has swooped down from the heavens and carried us back toward the sun. “The Breakfast Menu” is back on track.

More soon.

Seconds please,
John & Nick


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